Plastic - The Topic of the Day

Oh, boy. Plastic surgery is a topic that I held near and dear for many, many moons.

I was teased cruelly in elementary school because I was "blessed" with a slightly upturned nose a little on the large side. If I ever hear the term "ski slope nose" again, it will be much too soon.

Needless to say, by the time I was 16, I knew that, more than anything, I wanted rhinoplasty. I just knew that surgery would cure my schnozz-related isses. Only the lack of money prevented me from having the work done.

Several years later, I unfortunately happened upon a Discovery Channel show dedicated to cosmetic surgeries. And, after watching the doctor hack away at that poor unfortunate soul's nose with an actual hammer, the patient's head banging against the operating table, my dreams of a perfect nose came to a screeching halt.

Right around that time, I also changed my mind about breast augmentation. Imagine that.

We live in a society obsessed with looks. As little girls, our idols were supposed to be supermodels, actresses and Barbie, all of whom were perfect. The magazines available for us as tween and teenagers featured girls our age that were much skinnier and prettier than we were, with big boobs and perfect noses and skin. It's no wonder that by the time we were in junior high, most of us girls already had low self-esteem and hated our looks, and by the time we reached high school, were already contemplating cosmetic surgeries!

Now, don't get me wrong. There are a lot of newer, less invasive procedures out there these days designed to help us age more gracefully, and though I have opted not to ever have that boob job, I certainly am not turning my nose up at a Lifestyle Lift or something similar when my years of squinting finally catch up.

As long as I don't end up looking like the "Cat Woman." Meow ... ouch.

-Diana Banana

Plastic - The Topic of the Day

I would first like to thank Ms. Rice Spice for setting up this new area for the three of us to share our ideas on a designated subject...it's like we are "The View" of the world wide web! I'm very excited!!!

So, the subject of plastic surgery. I think you picked a good one and when I saw the topic I also started thinking about the Cat Lady and wondering where I could find a picture of her. But, Rice Spice beat me to the punch on that one. So, I will pick another person who when she first hit the scene I thought she was beautiful. She reminded me of Malibu Barbie. Without further ado, I present to you...

Tara Reid.

Blech, look at her stomach! It looks like play-doh. Not to mention the hideousness (is that a word?) that is her boobs. I found a picture of the mangled mess that was once a nipple, but sadly the website I was on did not allow people to copy pictures...bastards. One of my favorite websites is http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/. If you have never visited this website, you must go. It kills me what some of these women & men do to themselves.

Personally, I am not a plastic surgery advocate. I am a firm believer in, "if you don't have to go through surgery, don't do it!" Don't get me wrong, if you are disfigured in some sort of tragic accident, then be my guest, but to go in and have your face stretched so tight that when you cry the tears come out of your forehead (you know, because you've been stretched so tight that's where your tear ducts are now.) just seems ridiculous to me. Maybe I feel this way because I am happy with the size of my chest, I think my nose is ok, and luckily my family has good genes. I will say this, I have had to have mandatory surgery and if you've never gone through a recovery time, you have no idea how painful it can actually be. Also, with any surgery there is the chance you won't wake up.

So, to the celebrities out there...LEAVE YOUR FACE AND BODIES ALONE, Y'ALL ARE ALL STARTING TO LOOK WEIRD!!!! And to those of you who are considering going in for a little Nip/Tuck, good luck to you, hopefully your lipo and breast augmentation goes a lot better than Tara's did.

Single Girl

Inaugural Post: Our Obsession With Plastic

My daily routine is pretty standard. I get caught up on work-related matters first then I move on to scouring the internet for a few minutes catching up on the day's news. Today was no different. I updated myself on the ongoing investigation and missing persons search regarding the Minneapolis bridge collapse that happened earlier this week, boned-up on our world news to see how our troops are faring in the Middle East, caught a story about some yahoo giving birth to her 17th child (*gasp*), saw that Britney finally went out in public without another tacky headband to hide where her real hair and weave are badly intertwined (she should have worn the Weaveguard), and simply scanned pictures of celebrities as it is my guilty pleasure to spy on the rich and famous.

Today, I saw a picture of Courtney Love. Oh, Ms. Love. Once you were a hard-rockin' broad with balls of steel, smeared make-up across your sweaty face, and extra meat on your bones. Now you're a fashionista going downhill. Although I agree losing some extra weight and getting all purdy and stuff was a change for the better, but what's with all the facial augmentation? She honestly looks nothing like she did when she was singing lead vocals and thrashing her guitar for her band Hole. Her lips are the size of my head!

I started wondering about those people who have that disorder where they are obsessed with plastic surgery. I remembered reading an article years ago about a Manhattan socialite by the name of Jocelyn Wildenstein aka The Cat Woman. This woman has spent over a million dollars going under the knife. She was never an unattractive woman, but her inability to deal with her husband's infidelities led her to find solace in undergoing numerous surgeries that had her looking less like a sexy goddess and more like The Cowardly Lion from the Wizard of Oz.

Jocelyn - Before

Jocelyn - After

I know as I get older, I will want to do something about my wrinkles and my saggy boobs...and all other parts of me that have already deteriorated from it's 22-year-old body...BUT... I don't know if pulling myself back so tight that my skin may rip when I smile is necessarily the way to go. Being of Filipino decent, I have a theory about Asian/Pacific Islander women. We go through years of looking young and vibrant. Then out of nowhere around the age 70, it's like you blink your eyes and we look like wrinkled shar-peis. Something my other half will have to look forward to in our Golden Years. The most I may do is that new non-invasive Lipodissolve, but other than that, I think I'll just invest in some good heavy moisturizers.

--Rice Spice